3 Tricks to Get Over a Bad Breakup

man woman hands holding broken heart

If you’re reading this, maybe you’ve just been through a breakup. It doesn’t matter who broke it off with who—just know that you’re not alone. Most of us have been there.

The first thing you should be aware of is that it’s all right to feel bad about a breakup. That’s totally normal. The problems start when we begin obsessing or halting the progress of our own lives as a result of a past relationship. There isn’t a magic bullet to getting over the breakup blues, but the good news is that there are a lot of productive things you can do to speed up the process. Let’s take a look at the most effective things you can start doing right now.

Don’t Get Vindictive

For some of us, a breakup will result in feelings of anger and the desire for revenge, regardless of whether we initiated the breakup or not. Don’t let yourself fall into this trap—thoughts or actions involving revenge will only make things worse for both parties involved. It’s in your best interest to prevent yourself from gossiping (or “trash talking”) your ex, or saying nasty things to or about them.

What’s done is done, let it go. The reason that this is good for you is because the sooner you stop having these negative emotions, the sooner you can move on with your life. Addendum: there’s nothing wrong with blowing off steam with your friends (“Yeah, he was a jerk!”), but leave it at that.

The words Good Bye written with a penEnjoy Some Time Alone

There’s a reason that “rebound relationships” tend not to work—we jump into them as a means of escaping our thoughts and feelings about our previous partners, hoping that the new person will wipe all of those emotions away. After a breakup, we’re at our most vulnerable emotionally, which means that the decisions we make are likely to be a little bit off-kilter.

Spending at least a few weeks single is a good thing. It’ll give you time to get reacquainted with yourself, time to adjust, and time to relax. We all know that one person who seems to hop from one relationship to another, never giving themselves enough time to breathe and really figure out what they want. Don’t let that happen to you.

Avoid Denial in All Its Forms

Denial after a breakup is your worst enemy. Denial’s most common shape will be to simply push the relationship out of your mind—don’t do that, unless you’re ready. It’s fine to take some time and think about it. Be mad, be upset, be sad. If you push your feelings away, they’ll just resurface later.

Denial can also take the form of other insecurities, like denying that you’ll find another relationship that will make you as happy, or denying that you even want to be in another relationship. Letting your emotions run their course will often get these kinds of thoughts out of your system, so that you can go on to face another day.

Breakups can be tough, but take the above advice and hang in there. Once you come out the other end, not only will you be just fine, you’ll be better than ever!